It was about 2AM and I was sitting at the back of a moped, speeding through the centre of Delhi. It was so dusty that I couldn’t even open my eyes, but I could barely notice my surroundings as a phrase I just heard kept repeating itself in my mind:
“I never usually give people advice, but I feel like I need to tell you this. Never compromise.”
This was said to me by a very special person, someone who you may call a psychic, but a “real one”, very few people know of his gift and I was lucky enough to have met him thanks to a dear friend of mine.
What does it mean – never compromise?
The way I translate it is: don’t settle for something or someone who’s “just ok”. Whether it’s a job, a living situation or a beloved – wait for the perfect situation, because it will come along when the time is right.
But what if my perfect beloved will never come? Do I wait single forever?
Well first of all, who says you have to be single to wait for your true love? I believe that every person who comes across our path is there for a very specific reason, whether they’re there for 2 days of 2 years. So you absolutely don’t have to wait in a house full of cats waiting for your perfect man/woman to knock on the door. You need to go out and live your life to the fullest, loving yourself and preparing yourself with experiences and knowledge to be ready for when the time is right.
Secondly, you will not wait forever if you don’t see it as waiting. Don’t wait, just live. The right person will come at the right time. It may happen when you’re 21 or when you’re 71, I don’t know the bigger picture of your life.
Is there just one perfect partner for me?
No. That’s the very short answer. Every partner you have is perfect for the time, as you both learn something from each other. For example, I had one partner for 2 months who I thought was the biggest love of my life, and then I had the biggest heartbreak of my life, which actually ended up being the greatest gift he could have given me for reasons that are too long to write here.
I’m starting to lose hope, I think that what I want doesn’t exist, am I too picky?
Everyone has a perfect fantasy, some characteristics that we find desirable in a man/woman. I’m sure that everyone has thought that their desires couldn’t possibly be met, but let me tell you something – they can.
I had a moment once when I was starting to lose hope. I began dating, never being satisfied on a deeper level with the men I went out with. I wondered if all men were like this and if I should just stop searching and settle for someone who was “good enough”.
And then a miracle fell from the sky. Well, more like he arrived on a plane and sent me a wave through Nearby Friends on Facebook. Now I’ve had magical moments in my life, I’ve had perfect fairytales, like I wrote about here, but I’ve never met a guy who literally ticked every single box on my list of things I want in a man. It was quite incredible to say the least, and even more so as the feeling was completely mutual and we went into the most surreal love bubble for the days he was in my city, where nothing else existed but us.
But even so, I’m not saying that this particular guy is my one dream guy and that’s it. Perhaps he came into my life just to remind me not to compromise, that what I want DOES exist and that I shouldn’t settle for anything less than I deserve. If I’ve learnt anything from being on the tantric path, it’s that you need to let go of those you love, as the more you cling onto them, the more they will try to break free. If two people are meant to be together, they will naturally find a way to do that.
You deserve to be happy
Don’t let anyone convince you otherwise. You are completely worthy and deserving of everything you could ever wish for, and more! So don’t settle for any less. After all, what did you come to this Earth for, to be just “ok”, to follow someone else’s dreams or did you come here to have fun, experience all the most beautiful things about life and live exactly how you want to?
Now that doesn’t mean that you have to be completely inflexible either, temporary things do happen every now and then. For example, if you have 50 euros left in your bank account, go and take any job to earn money, don’t wait for your perfect vacancy, but know at the back of your mind that this is just temporary to help you get back on your feet.
Your homework for the day
Write down a list of things you truly want in life, whenever category they may be in. Now make another list of things you compromise about. Compare the lists and see what you can do TODAY to start living the life you truly want. If you’d like to speak to a professional relationship coach – that is also a great way to start!
Oh and lastly… don’t ever give up hope, for miracles really do happen, you just have to be open to them, look out for signs and listen to your intuition. And turn on your Nearby Friends, just in case.