After time, relationships stop feeling new and exciting. You might start taking each other for granted. Life gets dull.
Stop right there – this is not the end!
In my opinion, there’s nothing more lethal than routine. I’m someone who gets excited by change, by new things, experiences and emotions, and I’m sure I’m not the only one.
I was recently inspired by my friend Jordan’s article where he wrote that he has a list of things to surprise his girlfriend with, and I thought to myself – what an awesome idea, I want to make a list like that too!
Personally, I LOVE surprises, but I’m also very intuitive so no one has ever managed to pull off a surprise for me (down to me helping plan my own “surprise” birthday party!). That is, until my boyfriend now, he’s the only one who’s ever managed to surprise me, and I’m absolutely over the moon about that!
So let’s not waste any more time, here’s a list of things you can do to surprise your partner with and make them feel special! Of course, these will vary from person to person, for example, if you’re used to cooking dinner for your partner every day, then it won’t be much of a surprise, but if you’ve never stepped foot into the kitchen since your relationship started, then that would be a surprise for sure!
- When they come home from work one day, have the table set with their favourite meal, warm and ready to eat. Who doesn’t love coming home to a cooked (or raw!) meal?
- Pick a weekend and tell your beloved “pack warm and take your walking boots, I’m taking you somewhere but I’m not telling you where”. It doesn’t have to be abroad, but even a drive across country will be exciting (especially if they don’t know where they’re going) and help change the scenery. Personally, I go on mini-trips every few weeks with my boyfriend to switch up the routine.
- Pay attention to what they like when you’re out shopping together. Buy them the thing they wanted and give it to them at a random day, for absolutely no reason. Why wait until Christmas or Valentine’s day to give gifts? Surprise your partner today!
- Send your beloved a cheeky sexy photo in the middle of the day. Teasing is oh so much fun, and they will be excited about seeing you all day, with hormones raging by the time they get to you!
- Go the extra mile when choosing a present. Sure, perfume and jewellery is fun to receive, but what if you did something really unexpected and special? The best example I have is that of my best friend and her now ex-boyfriend, let’s call him X. They hadn’t been dating for very long, and I hadn’t even met him yet, and then one day, out of the blue, he messaged me on Facebook. He introduced himself and said he wanted to surprise his partner for her birthday, by flying me over to Madrid from London to see her! I was shocked – that’s the nicest thing I’d ever heard, and since my friend and I only get to see each other a few times a year, we were both absolutely thrilled about this! Way to get the bestie seal of approval!
- Do you have a talent? If you’re an artist – draw a painting of your lover. If you’re a musician – write them a song. If you’re a writer – write a poem or story about them. You get the picture.
- Do you know if your boyfriend/girlfriend has a sexual fantasy that they haven’t fulfilled yet? Why not surprise your partner with it (as long as you’re comfortable with it, of course). So many people fantasise about things that could easily be achieved, like having sex in a field of flowers, or in a specific position, but they either talk themselves out of it or simply don’t prioritise it. Just wait a bit before doing it, so they don’t expect it!
- Sometimes life gets busy. We don’t have time to organise our closets, wash the car or drive our friend to the airport. Try to help out where you can. Maybe you could take their car to the wash and have them return home to find it clean in the driveway, or help them iron all the clothes they have stacked up on “that” chair. It’s the little things that show that you see what they need and care about them.
- Plan an evening that’s just for them. Tell them that they have you for X hours and that they can ask for whatever they want. E.g. massage, date night, cook them dinner, do some tantric exercises, sex in a specific way etc. This is a beautiful way to surprise your partner and make them feel special.
- Go to some quirky event. Personally, I love finding fun things to do wherever I am. Whether it’s finding a secret cinema in London that looks like a spaceship and you sit on huge bean bags to watch a movie, or ghost tours in Edinburgh where you get shown all the gruesome history of the city, or having dinner in one of those transparent pod things whilst it’s cold and snowing outside. I’m a spontaneous person, I see a poster for an escape room and I book it right away and tell my boyfriend that we’re going.
- Try a new technique in bed . This one may sound obvious, but so many people don’t do it, or they think they’ve tried everything, or they’re too shy. I thought I’d tried everything when I was 17. And when I was 20. And then again when I was 27. And oh my god when I got into tantra I really thought I’d done it all. But no, I keep finding new things all the time, and that way, my sex life is never boring. Want some ideas? Have a look at my recommended online tantra courses, so you can impress your partner with an intimate massage they’ll never forget!
- Surprise your partner by booking you both into a class together. I love trying new things and have done everything from quad biking in the desert to stained glass window making. So find something new and give it a go, you won’t know if you’ll like it until you try. The next thing I want to try – glass blowing!
- Get dressed up. Or dressed down… however you want to look at it. When your beloved comes home one day, open the door in your sexiest outfit. I love seeing my boyfriend’s face when he’s not expecting anything and I come out in something kinky, it’s just so much for for the both of you! And don’t think this applies only to women, men can get dressed up too, depending on what your partner likes.
- Get your partner tickets to something they love. This one is self-explanatory, but ever so sweet and thoughtful.
- Do something you dislike that you know they will love. Not everyone is the same and we can’t all like the same things. It could mean the world to someone if you sit through 3 hours of ballet with them if they’ve always wanted to go.
- Book a restaurant. Text your date what to wear and where to meet you. Don’t give them an option to back out. I don’t know about you, but I personally love people with confidence and decisiveness.
- Whether it’s housemates, kids or just every day surroundings, you need time alone. Book a hotel for the weekend, or even for the night, and spend some needed alone-time. Added bonus – there’s just something about hotels that makes you want to take your pants off and get sexy, right? For extra points – don’t tell them about it and just surprise your partner on the day!
- Give your partner a long and sensual massage. Or why not make it a “different” one? I once read somewhere about a biting massage and decided to try it with my boyfriend just for laughs. It turned out to be really nice so that we actually do it every now and then. Or how about a tantric massage to really take things to the next level? Make sure to tell them they don’t need to reciprocate – this is just for them.
- Hide some cute and loving (or naughty and playful) notes for them to find. I love doing this one, and my boyfriend is a romantic cheeseball too so we both leave each other little messages. They’re just so nice to find!
- Treasure hunt… with a twist! At the end of the game, whatever they have to find should be down your pants.
- Do something unexpected. I don’t know exactly how to describe that one, but every now and then we stumble across things, ideas or places that we have never seen or heard of. For example, I once lit dozens of candles in the bedroom and made my boyfriend wear these special glasses that turn flame into flame hearts, so it looked like the whole room was filled with floating burning hearts and he absolutely loved it. Or another time we found some “magical” ruins in the middle nowhere that, according to legend, you were supposed to climb through… and so we did… naked. Or name a star after them or something.
- Meet your sweetheart at their regular bus stop, train station or work building and go out for a meal. Surprising your partner doesn’t have to take a lot of effort and planning, sometimes it’s the small things that count.
- Record something sweet for your beloved. My boyfriend records personalised meditations or sleep stories (ok fine, erotic stories too…) and I absolutely love listening to them!
- Pull a prank on them! Why do surprises always have to be romantic and cute? Something silly is also a change in routine and will hopefully get some laughs. I once managed to pull off the cling-film under the toilet seat trick hahaha!
- Find a cool game you can play. I recently saw a game online and without really knowing what it was, just decided to get it on a whim (if you haven’t yet noticed, I love spontaneity). The game is called Don’t Get Got and you basically have to get the other player(s) to do something without them knowing it’s your task (e.g. say a specific word, open a can, or correct your spelling) and if you manage it, then you get the point. We’ve been playing it for a month now and we’re loving it, especially since you can play it over a long period of time so you never know when they’re gonna get you (remember how in How I Met Your Mother one of the characters kept expecting a slap for like, years?). Or, you know, there’s always strip poker.
- If you live together, you can get tired of each other, and there’s nothing wrong with that, you may just need time alone. Why not go spend the night at your friend’s or family’s house and let your partner have a bubble of me-time?
- Record a video for them. Maybe it’s just a quick one to say a few things you love about them, or maybe you’ll want to make it a little sexier, if you catch my drift. Sometimes I get video messages from my boyfriend as he’s walking down the street and he sees some cute flower and he tells me it that looking at it made him think of me, and I think that’s adorable. Whatever you do, you know they will love it, wouldn’t you?
So, which one of these will you do this week? Which one is your favourite?