Why you surround yourself with the people that you do

Everybody meets for a reason.

Yes that includes the shop keeper you said hi to last night. Perhaps it is because you spoke to him that he changed his plans and took a safe route from work and missed a possible mugging. Your crazy auntie? Maybe from her you learn something on fashion, or how to cook that wonderful spaghetti which impressed your girlfriend’s parents.

Do this exercise

frog family friends group

Think for a moment about all of the people in your life. And I don’t mean just the important ones. What good have they brought into your life? It may not be visible right away, but it’s definitely always there.

Your uncle is a horrible, nasty character who does nothing but drink and smoke his lungs out all day you say? Perhaps the one thing you needed to learn from him then is how to NOT be like him. Oh yes that is a very valuable lesson too!! The fact that a lot of the men in my family smoked when I was a child has put me off smoking for life and I was brave enough to survive the peer-pressure when everyone else was trying it at school. The fact that my dad drank a lot may have been the reason why I don’t drink at all since the age of 16, which is possibly a first step towards spirituality. Far-fetched? I don’t think so.

Why is is important to notice this?

Anya Andreeva talking with friend. Photo credit: Avneesh Kumar

Well for starters, gratitude is one of the most wonderful and most important feelings in the world and sometimes we forget to (even mentally) thank the people in our lives. The exercise above will help you realise and remember what other people have given you and forgive them if necessary.

Also, it helps to LET GO of negative feelings you may consciously or subconsciously hold against your family or friends. An abusive partner perhaps, why would you possibly thank him for that? For starters, hating someone is like drinking poison and wishing for the other person to die, it doesn’t do you any good. Secondly, there must have been a reason for what happened. Think about it, maybe it was so you could figure out what kind of man you really deserve, or so you could avoid a similar situation in the future. Or perhaps it was your karma and you had to find the strength to leave the situation – that is a great skill to find in yourself. I honestly believe that life gives us challenges so we can learn something, and if we don’t learn it, then another situation will arise that will require a similar input from you, and you will go through that again and again until you do what is needed, but that’s a different big subject for another day!

Anya Andreeva at family group sharing. Photo credit: Avneesh Kumar

On the positive side, sometimes we have wonderful people who come into our lives and uplift our spirits. They teach us things that are perfect for us at that particular time in our lives, whether they realise it or not (they may not even have to SAY anything, just their presence can change things around you). Sometimes these people need to leave to get going with their own lives though, if that’s the case, then you should try to let go and not hold onto them, for no one is ours to “keep” forever. Cherish them.

As a mini conclusion, all people in our lives come for a reason, so next time your boss tells you off for something, don’t start throwing darts at a picture of his face, thank him for his annoying-ness, because you probably have something to learn from it.

This Post Has 2 Comments

  1. Bernard Johannes Sleijster

    Well this certainly gave me a lot to think about, thank you! Great article
    ~ Bernard Sleijster

  2. Jean Whitred

    I totally agree.

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