Many of you know of my interest in improving people’s relationships and sex life and have probably seen the online tantra courses that I recommend. I’ve had the honour of speaking to Pleasurespot, the creators of some wonderful sensual massage courses, and they were kind enough to answer a few common questions people have when thinking about signing up.
What do you need to know before practicing the massages?
Sensual massage is not only about touching, but it’s also about emotional and physical wellbeing. Before you start practicing the massage, it’s good to communicate your intentions, expectations, and also fears. As with other new things in life, start exploring with an open mind and an open heart.
On the practical side, prepare a nice space for the session. The room should be warm (25°C /77°F and above) and cozy. You can do the massage on a massage table, in bed, or on the floor on a mat. Pay attention to the giver’s position so it won’t hurt their back and knees. Get ready your favorite massage oil, and don’t forget the towels. You will need towels as you’ll be using a lot of oil.
What do I need to give a good massage?
In short, a place where to give a massage, towels, lots of oil, and enough uninterrupted time.
The ideal room temperature should be 25°C (77°F) and above, so the receiver’s body can fully relax. For a sensual atmosphere, use soft lighting and music. You can play some gentle and sensual melody or use any music you will enjoy with your partner.
What oils are best to use?
The general rule is – only use oils that you can also eat. The best ones are extra virgin coconut oil (refined can also be used), avocado oil, almond oil, and grapeseed oil. It is always preferable to use pure oils with no extra additives.
How long does it take for the body to open up to different orgasms?
Each person is different, so there is no fixed formula. Very roughly, I would say it takes at least 3 massage sessions for the body to open up. It might take less, and in some cases, it might take more than 10 sessions. The key is not to have any expectations for the receiver and the giver.
Can this course really enhance your sex-life? How?
As a result of practicing sensual massages, your whole sexual experience can have a profound change. Here are just a few benefits you could get from joining us:
● It creates a deeper connection, builds more trust between partners
● It has an uplifting effect on physical and mental health
● It brings more sensitivity to your body
● You will likely experience full-body orgasms
● Becoming multi-orgasmic
● Opening up to internal orgasms (not only external ones)
● Lasting longer during intercourse (for men)
● Learning how to give more pleasure to your partner
● Learning to touch each other in a much more conscious way
Is it expected that the massage should turn into sex? Or should they be separate?
It doesn’t have to, but it can. Sensual massage can be just a massage with no intercourse. Many therapists practice yoni (vagina) and lingam (penis) massage as healing therapy, and it is completely separated from sex. But oftentimes, partners integrate massage into their foreplay, and if both partners want it, it can turn into sex.
Can I use these massage techniques on myself?
Actually, you can. Although it is a great way of taking your relationship to a new level, and it is incredibly pleasant to receive a sensual massage from your partner, you actually don’t need a partner to explore your own sexuality and give yourself a genital or a breast massage.
However, you should know that these courses were created for couples. This means that it will require some adapting of those massage practices, but please don’t let this get your way, because self-massage can be just as pleasurable.
Are there any big no-nos for practicing these massages on my partner?
Sensual massage is very personal and intimate. If your partner has never experienced this type of massage before and has suffered sexual abuse, it is not recommended to perform this massage before a person has done psychological work around the trauma. Massage can have strong healing abilities, but it can also bring the trauma to the surface and cause even more harm to the person. Therefore, it is safe to start practicing this massage after dealing with this trauma emotionally and mentally.
Is it tantric massage? Do I need to have any prior tantra skills or knowledge?
Sensual genital massage has many aspects similar to tantric teaching, but you can practice it without following the teachings of tantra or having prior knowledge of the subject. If you have practiced tantra before, your body might be more open energetically, but it is definitely not mandatory.
Does it have to be a long session every time I want to offer a sensual massage to my partner? Or is there a short version of it?
We recommend starting with the instructions as they are. Later, when you have some experience, know the techniques, and have found your favorite moves, you can vary the session structure, sequence of techniques, and length.
Can my partner and I take the course together?
Yes, of course! It will be a lot more fun and gives better results when you are in it together.