For the past couple of years, the percentage of people who want to get married and have kids keeps getting lower and lower. These days, if you’re in you’re a twenty- something working girl in the big city, you’re winning. And people who have chosen to settle down and have kids are “missing out in life”.
These beliefs have encouraged women to be independent and hard- working. Rare is it for
you to find women who turn to men for money and protection. And that’s absolutely great. Girls are learning that they can do whatever they set their mind to. Men are understanding the fact that ladies won’t always agree with what they want and that’s totally normal. Women are learning to be more assertive as they overcome every hurdle in the way of her success.
Women have worked so hard to be seen as capable and independent people that they’re now afraid of asking for help, looking weak, or liking traditional things. These things, of course, are settling down, having kids, falling hopelessly in love, wanting to be a housewife, and cooking.
The last one could be construed as a joke but you’ll be surprised how many women don’t know how to cook a decent meal. Reasons range from not wanting to be a stereotype to fears about men asking them to “stay in the kitchen” to “make me a sandwich”. Imagine, that one simple survival skill, because of sexism, has become something women fear to learn or master.
And as for the rest, well, look at how relationshionships work nowadays. They can barely be considered real relationships. People don’t even date. It’s just signing up for a site or downloading an app, then meeting up for sex. Love, deep connections, commitment, it isn’t something women feel like they have the time for anymore. And a lot of people would praise them for it.
Is it bad? Not necessarily. If it’s your choice, that’s great. You’re living life on your own terms. But if you’re only doing it because you’re scared your superwoman status will be revoked, or you’re scared that people will respect you less as a serious human being because of it, then we should have a little talk about why that shouldn’t be the case.
Work and relationships are not discordant.
I can’t have a relationship, I’m too busy with work.
Sweetie, you’re not the only one that’s busy with work. You can manage a mature relationship even if you’re a serious businesswoman with five companies. And being in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re losing focus on your work. It is completely possible for you to run around in your power suit conducting high profile meetings all day and then let your hair down at night for drinks and family night.
Failed relationships don’t make you weak.
People who have accepted the road of committing to one person late in their lives will tell you that they’d wish it started off in their twenties. Because compromising, scheduling dates to fit with your work schedule and getting along with each others’ friends is a challenging thing to do. When you’re older, you just don’t adapt as well. So even if you think relationships aren’t for you, you should really give it a try. If, in the future, you really don’t go down that road, you’ve learned the values of patience and compromise which prove really helpful in other aspects in life.
Dying people regret chances not taken with people, not with jobs.
Has it taken a dark turn? Maybe. But it’s reality, dear. Don’t be the rich old lady in the elegant four- poster bed, looking around her magnificent but empty room thinking about what could have been. Jobs, money, those are replaceable. People that you love, time, those are not.
Sharing a life with someone doesn’t mean you give up on your original plans.
There are a lot of women who think they can’t aspire for things that are solely for themselves just because they are in a relationship. Many women today, get judged when they do. That doesn’t have to be the case. You don’t have to sacrifice your dreams and aspirations just because you have a boyfriend or husband or family to take care of. Your partner is there so both of you can work hand in hand to help each other reach each other’s’ goals. Not so one can step back while the other keeps reaching.
Women can do anything. They can like anything, too.
Wanting to put on an apron and baking a red velvet souffle for your partner does not make you weak, vulnerable, or any less of the person you’ve worked so hard to become. Just because you’re head detective of your precinct, it doesn’t mean your co- workers will respect you any less or ridicule you for liking anything that’s considered to be interests of a traditional woman. Bake that cake. Fall madly in love and flaunt it. Wear pink nailpolish. Kick ass. Play video games. Rock out in Guitar Hero.
Don’t let your quest for success, respect, and power dampen the spirit of the teenaged girl inside you just waiting for her soulmate to show up and brighten up her life in this dark scary world.
Bio: Alex Sierra is a hopeless romantic juggling five blogs and three kids. She’s currently on the quest of helping people with addictions find the treatment and second chance that they so deserve. Visit her site at www.addictions.com