Wherever you are in the world right now, I think that no person has gone untouched by the current COVID-19 situation. Whether you’re alone or with family, it all comes with its own struggles. Personally I think loneliness is one of the hardest things that we as human beings have to deal with, but it’s not something we often talk about, like it’s something shameful. I’ve previously written about how to make a long-distance relationship work, which is helpful if you’re currently dating but stuck in different places. This post, however, is for those of you who are single and want to beat loneliness during these crazy Coronavirus times, from exploring your sexuality with online tantra courses to investing in your mental health.
Try new hobbies in quarantine
Keeping yourself busy is a great way to get out of your head if you’ve started feeling sorry for yourself that you’re home alone and don’t have a partner to share this difficult time with. And not only will hobbies keep you busy, you may also discover new things you like and can be a great conversation starter for when you do meet someone new.
Sure, we’re limited to what we can currently do in quarantine, but there’s definitely a lot of stuff you still can! I ordered a whole bunch of crafty stuff on Amazon, from calligraphy and watercolour brush pens to embroidery kits and making fuzzy llama cushions (I saw it, I liked it, I bought it – why not?). So far I’m loving embroidery and it’s been a great way to pass the time.
I’ve also taken up French again by doing online lessons. Have you ever wanted to learn a language but kept saying that you don’t have the time? Can you see where I’m going with this?
Prefer to be more physical? Try learning a new dance routine in your living room or go for a run in the park (if you’re in a country that allows that).
Explore and master your own sexuality
You certainly don’t need a partner to experience sexual pleasure, so don’t hold back! Explore your OWN sexuality. If you don’t know what you like and don’t like, then how is your partner-to-be supposed to know? Often we just expect the other person to do all the work, but it’s time to take your sexuality into your own hands (literally!).
When you masturbate, do you keep doing the same movements over and over because you know they work and you never bother to experiment? I encourage you to treat yourself. Set aside 1-2 hours of self-pleasure time one evening and become present with yourself. Turn off your phone and really take the time to explore your body in every way you can think of. Try building up the excitement, change your strokes, blindfold yourself, play with tastes and smells, try different toys, use a Jade egg (here is a great Jade egg online course), change angles and positions or why not just go ahead and buy a full-on robot sex machine! You never know what you might like until you try it, right?
In turn, what you discover may help you in your future relationships. For example, since the Coronavirus lockdown began, I actually discovered that I can make myself squirt, whereas before I thought I needed to have a partner for it. I also discovered that it’s not really that exciting and does not actually automatically assume it’s an orgasm, and having discussed it with a good friend of mine, she agreed. Her partner used to do it all the time just because it gave him a sense of achievement, whereas for her it was often uncomfortable and unnecessary, but she went along with it to stroke his ego.
Why not explore some new sex toys, you might like something you didn’t expect! Here are a few to have a look at:
- Clitoral stimulation: I’m a big fan of the Womanizer collection. I have the Womanizer Premium Smart Silence, it’s a bit on the pricey side but damn its the best sex toy I’ve ever owned. However, it’s cheaper versions like the Womanizer Starlet are also fantastic.
- G-spot stimulation: have a look here at the full collection, I don’t have any favourites to recommend here.
- If you’re into the wand massagers, try this one.
- For working those pelvic floor muscles and intensifying orgasms – get some Kegel balls.
- Ever tried butt plugs? If you haven’t you could really be missing out – try combining it with clitoral stimulation for extra pleasure.
- Sex machines may sound extreme, but if you aren’t great at self-pleasure, they can be a lot of fun.
- I must confess I’m not an expert at sex toys for men, but there are many out there for those willing to experiment!
Learn some new sexual techniques for when you do meet someone
Getting experience through touch is, of course, the best way to learn new sexual techniques, but when you’re on a Coronavirus quarantine, you shouldn’t have to stop learning and experimenting! However, with the strict 2m distance rules, let’s keep the learning virtual…for now.
I’ve been doing tantra for many years now and can’t recommend it enough, even if you just dip a little toe in, to learn a new thing or two. It can really make a difference not only in your life, but in your relationships too. There are lots of great online tantra courses you can do, and I’ve collected a few of them for you to browse here. Once you go through the exercises and techniques online, you will be much more prepared when you decide to do it in real life.
I remember when I first wanted to learn the art of a lingam massage (that’s Sanskrit for penis massage), I didn’t have a boyfriend at the time to practice on and I didn’t like the idea of practicing on a stranger during a workshop, so some friends recommended an online lingam massage course. It wasn’t very expensive and for the knowledge it gave me I would have paid x4 more! It was honestly one of the best things I’ve ever learnt, and my future boyfriends were certainly very happy.
Take care of your mental health
Yes, you may be alone right now, but why not take this opportunity to do something that you can only do when you’re by yourself. We often make excuses like “I can’t meditate in the morning because I don’t want to wake up my boyfriend” or “I don’t have time for hobbies and a relationship at the same time”. Now is the PERFECT time to work on yourself. Read, invest in your mental health and become the best version of yourself, so when you do meet the love of your life, you’ll be ready!
Also, taking care of yourself may sometimes be simply allowing yourself to feel sad or angry or whatever you may be feeling in the moment. If you don’t give yourself permission to be yourself when you’re alone, then you end up bottling things up and that can be detrimental to your health in the long run.
Lastly, try a dating app
I’m sure dating apps are getting a lot of new subscribers since Coronavirus broke out! You may not be able to meet someone in person (well, unless you live close by and want to have a date 2m away from each other), but this is a great way to get to know someone deeply first, before getting physical. Just make sure to video chat with them so you know they’re not a catfish!